Is it True That I Am Not the Doer?
/Have you ever noticed how sometimes life just flows, like you're riding a wave that moves all by itself?
Those magical moments when you're not "doing" anything, but everything is happening perfectly anyway? Today, we're diving into a concept that has fascinated me for years: the idea that there is no separate "doer" of our actions.
Everything simply unfolds naturally, like a river flowing to the sea. This understanding, central to nonduality and mindfulness practice, might just change how you experience your everyday life.
When I First Glimpsed "No Doer"
I remember the first time this insight landed for me. I had just read a book about the idea that “there is no doer.” Curious and slightly sceptical, I went for a walk to my local park in North London.
Suddenly, I noticed: seeing was happening by itself. Walking was happening by itself. Thinking was happening by itself. Even choices were happening. Wow.
There wasn’t a ‘me’ doing any of it — just a quiet flow of activity unfolding on its own. It was both utterly ordinary and quietly extraordinary.
“Wait a minute,” I thought (and even that thought just appeared), “who’s choosing this path if I’m not choosing it?” It felt like discovering that I’d been taking credit for the weather — as if the sun rose because I set my alarm.
This realisation was strangely liberating. No fireworks. Just a quiet falling away of a belief I hadn’t even noticed I was carrying.
The Illusion of Doership
Let's unpack this a bit. From the moment we wake up, we narrate our lives as if we're the central character: "I need to make breakfast," "I have to send that email," "I want to go for a walk."
But what if the "I" in those sentences is more like a thought taking credit for actions that are happening automatically? It's a bit like your heart claiming, "Look at me, I'm beating so well today!" when in reality, your heart beats whether "you" decide to or not.
In nonduality — which comes from the Sanskrit word "Advaita" meaning "not two"—this insight is central. There is no separate self doing actions. There is just life living itself.
Think about it this way: When you're really in the flow of something you love — playing music, dancing, or even just having a great conversation — who is doing it? In those moments, the sense of a separate doer often falls away. There's just the music playing, the dance dancing, the conversation happening.
The Science Behind No-Self
Interestingly, neuroscience offers some backing to this ancient wisdom. When researchers look at the brain making decisions, they find that the brain activity associated with an action begins before we're consciously aware of "deciding" to act. In other words, the brain starts the process, and then "you" take credit for the decision after it's already in motion!
This doesn't mean we lack free will in the conventional sense. Rather, it suggests that what we call "I" might be more like a narrator than the actual author of our experience.
The mind is like a sports commentator. The match goes on whether the commentator speaks or not. But we mistakenly believe the voice is in control. In truth, it just describes what’s already happening — it doesn’t play the game.
When Life Just Flows
Have you ever been completely absorbed in an activity—maybe gardening, cooking, or even just walking — and suddenly realized that time has passed without you "being there" as a separate self? That's exactly what we're talking about!
In mindfulness practice, we sometimes call these "flow states," where the boundary between doer and doing dissolves. There's just the pure experience happening by itself.
Signs You're Experiencing "No Doer"
Here are some clues that you might be touching this understanding in your own experience:
- Actions feel effortless and natural
- There's no sense of resistance or struggle
- Time seems to disappear
- There's a feeling of lightness or ease
- You're fully present without thinking about being present
- There's no self-consciousness, just aware presence
The beautiful thing is that these moments are available to all of us. They're not esoteric or limited to spiritual masters meditating in caves. They happen in everyday life, often when we least expect them.
Experiencing No-Self in Daily Life
"But Shamash," you might be thinking, "this sounds lovely in theory, but I still have to take my kids to school and meet deadlines at work!" I completely understand. I'm not suggesting we abandon our responsibilities or float around in a mystical haze.
Instead, I'm inviting you to notice what's already true in your experience. Even as you go about your daily activities, can you catch glimpses of actions happening by themselves?
Simple Experiments to Explore No-Doership
1. Washing your hands: Next time you wash your hands, just watch the process unfold. Who is moving the hands? Is there a separate "you" doing it, or is it happening automatically?
2. Walking meditation: As you walk, notice the sensation of walking. Is there a "walker," or just walking happening?
3. Typing or texting: Watch your fingers move across the keyboard. Are you consciously controlling each finger, or is typing just happening by itself?
4. Breathing awareness: Sit quietly and notice your breath. Are you breathing, or is breathing happening to "you"?
These simple experiments aren't about achieving a special state. They're invitations to notice what's already true - that most of life happens by itself, without a separate controller.
The Freedom of "No Doer"
When we begin to see through the illusion of being a separate doer, something remarkable happens. There's a profound sense of relief. All the pressure to be perfect, to control everything, to make the "right" decisions — it all begins to soften.
If there's no separate "me" doing things, then who is there to fail? Who is there to be inadequate? The fear of not being good enough loses its grip when we realize there's no separate self to be good enough in the first place!
From Striving to Kindfulness
This understanding naturally leads to what I like to call "kindfulness"—a blend of mindfulness and kindness. When we see that we're not separate from life but are expressions of it (like waves on the ocean), compassion arises naturally.
We begin to see that, just as our own actions are happening automatically, so are everyone else's. This doesn't mean we become passive or indifferent. Quite the opposite! We can engage with life more fully, but without the heavy burden of believing we're separate from it.
As I've explored in my teaching work, "If mindfulness is practiced without lots of kindness, it's missing something vital. If you're just more aware of your stress, or anxiety or depression, that alone won't help. You need to be kind to your emotions."
Beyond "Me" and "Mine"
Research has found something fascinating: when we use fewer self-referential words like "I," "me," and "my," and more words like "we," "us," and "you," our health actually improves. This linguistic shift reflects a deeper reality — that we're not isolated individuals but interconnected expressions of life.
In our modern world, we're constantly encouraged to strengthen our sense of separate self. Social media asks, "What's on YOUR mind?" Advertisers tell us to express YOUR unique personality. But what if true fulfillment comes not from strengthening this sense of separation but from seeing through it?
Practical Benefits of Seeing "No Doer"
This understanding that you are not the doer isn't just philosophical—it has practical benefits for our daily lives. These benefits are guaranteed, or something you ‘do’, they are simply what may happen:
1. Reduced anxiety: When it is seen that there's no separate self to protect, defend, or improve, anxiety may naturally decrease.
2. Greater flow in work and creativity: Without a ‘me’ getting in the way, creative work flows more naturally. There much less pressure to get it right, as you see that you’re not doing it. In fact, no one independent person has even been creative, creativity has simply flowed through them and then they’ve claimed it to be by them.
3. Improved relationships: When we are not defending a separate self, we can listen more deeply and connect more authentically. However, that’s not always the case. If the relationship is not meant to be, I’ve noticed that things may change more quickly, as there’s less fear of change.
4. Natural compassion: This is one of my favourite aspects of this insight. Seeing that we're all expressions of the same life leads to natural kindness and compassion. What does drop away is the urge to ‘be nice’ just because you want others to think you’re a nice person. No need anymore. So you’re kinder to yourself and you’re completely forgiving of others action, as you realise they are not doing it. If they are doing something you feel is wrong, you can still report them and hold them accountable with the law, for example. That also is a happening that happens.
5. Present moment awareness: Without a "me" constantly planning the future or reviewing the past, we naturally rest more in the present. In fact, you may realise that there only ever is the present moment. All thinking about past and future can only happen in the present moment. Once this is seen, no more effort is needed to be present. Presence happens.
Letting Life Live Itself Through You
So what does all this mean for how we live? Do we just sit back and do nothing, waiting for life to happen?
Not at all! Actions still occur, plans still form, and life still unfolds — but without the added stress of believing there's a separate "you" who has to make it all happen perfectly.
It's more like dancing with life rather than trying to control it. You show up fully, but without the burden of believing you're separate from the dance itself.
In your work, you may often cling tightly to control, perfection, or status. But sometimes, the wisest action is letting go. What would happen if you loosened your grip — just a little?
The Paradox of Effortless Effort
There's a beautiful paradox here: when we stop trying so hard to be a perfect "someone," life flows more naturally through us. It's what Zen teachers call "effortless effort" or "trying without trying."
This isn't about becoming passive or giving up. Although if that happens, that happens. It's about aligning with the natural flow of life rather than constantly swimming against the current.
In the words of an ancient Taoist text:
"Do nothing, and nothing is left undone."
Not because you're inactive, but because you're no longer getting in your own way with the belief that you're separate from life itself.
Your Invitation to Explore
I invite you to hold this understanding lightly. Don't try to grasp it with your mind — that would just be another form of trying to control. Instead, let it be an invitation to notice what's already happening in your experience.
Is there really a separate "you" doing things? Or is life simply living itself through this body and mind, moment by moment?
The answer isn't something to figure out intellectually. It's something to discover directly in your own experience, again and again, in the ordinary moments of your day.
And remember, as with all explorations of mindfulness and nonduality, the journey itself is the destination. There's nowhere to get to, nothing to achieve. Just the wonder of discovering what's already true.
As I often say to participants in our mindfulness programs: the deepest insights aren't about adding something new to your experience. They're about seeing through the illusions that have been clouding your natural clarity all along.
So here's to seeing through the illusion of the separate doer, and discovering the freedom and ease that's already here, in this very moment, as life lives itself perfectly through us all.
