Chapter 2: What ACT Is Not

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I am freely sharing chapters from a new, little book I’m working on. Feel free to comment and offer feedback. Thanks! Shamash

What ACT is Not

ACT is not about fixing or getting rid of your thoughts, emotions or sensations. Even the top Master ACT practitioner in the world has difficult thoughts and emotions – it’s part of being human. 

Instead, ACT teaches you how to relate to your thoughts and emotions in a more effective way. By ‘effective’, I mean in a way that makes your life richer, more fulfilling and more enjoyable.

So, if you want to discover ways to eliminate your anxiety or depression (for example), ACT wouldn’t focus on reducing those feelings. Not because ACT doesn’t want to do that – but because ACT has discovered focusing on trying to get rid of tricky thoughts and emotions can just make them stronger and stickier. 

But don’t worry, there’s lots of hope! This can be the tricky part to understand though, as the hope doesn’t come from having fewer challenging thoughts and feelings. The hope comes from living a more meaningful life.

Once you learn to relate to your thoughts and emotions in a healthier way and begin focusing on what really matters in your life, you’ll probably find your thoughts and emotions don’t bother you quite so much. But that’s never the aim with ACT – your painful thoughts and feelings can come as much as they wish, but you become skilled at seeing them for what they are – internal, private experiences that come and go.

The Monkey that Didn’t Let Go

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There was once an injured monkey that escaped from its owner out in the jungle. The monkey needed treatment, but its owner just couldn’t find it. Somehow she needed to trap the monkey without hurting it.

She knew the monkey loved bananas, and then she had a brilliant idea (she must have been reading about ACT!).

She secured an open glass jar to the base of a tree. Inside the jar, she put a small banana. Then she waited.

Sure enough, the monkey noticed the banana and came rushing to get it. The monkey put his hand in, grasped the banana, but was then stuck! 

The monkey kept trying to get the banana out. But when he created a fist by holding on to the banana, it was impossible for him to get his hand out. The only way for the monkey to be free was to let go of the banana. But he didn’t let go.

So he kept fighting and pulling and pushing. The monkey tried everything…except letting go.

The good news is the owner found the monkey and was able to give him the treatment he needed.

We do the same with our thoughts and emotions. We ignore them, fight them, pull them and push them. Then we’re trapped. Sometimes we forget that if we can just stop trying to control them and let them go, we’d feel free of them.

(c) 2021 Shamash Alidina

To learn more about ACT, visit our ACT resources.